Throwing it back to 2 months ago (yesterday) May 16th that I met this crazy handsome kid. Yes I say kid b/c he was 29 at the time. :) He turned 30 June 6th, so he's a man now. This pose of us couldn't be more contrived, but now it has more meaning and depth. Perspective is a crazy thing.
This was literally 1 hr after meeting in Huntington Beach,CA for an LDS mid-singles conference, and we were being silly and took all sorts of fun shots with our sidekicks, Sandy and James.
I remember Brent wanting to look at the back of the camera after every shot. Ok, well I did too. I mean not everyone knows how to use an SLR. So I was checking to see if they were in focus. Brent was checking to see if he looked hot enough. Pretty sure he doesn't take a bad photo. I remember him looking at me, after seeing a particular image with me and he says..."WOW, you're really pretty." To which I thought, "hmm he said that like he was shocked or something and that he didn't realize I may be attractive at all, until he saw me being photographed or something) Either way, I remember feeling a little jolt of excitement that he validated me. It felt nice. Here's that image. (we are such posers)
Before this event we had texted to plan to meet up and possibly car pool. I knew they were driving in from Utah via Vegas the night before because Brent and I were exchanging a few texts. We all met up at the same hotel the four of us stayed in (separately. me with Sandy, He with James) in the BLVD Hotel in Newport Beach. It was kind of a dive, but that's what you get when you book last minute hotels. Brent saved the day and messaged me on Facebook a few days before giving Sandy and me the tip. I thought it would be nice to "know" others staying at the same hotel and even be "car pool buddies" to and from events, since parking can be a nightmare in Cali. I only ever saw us being friends.
Brent and James came knocking on our door that evening as we were scurrying to look our hottest selves. ***TANGENT ALERT****I mean the pressure we put on ourselves for these singles' events is just nuts. It was exhausting, if I'm being totally honest. I just can't maintain that lifestyle if I wanted to. I won't even admit to how long it took us to get ready every day, even for the beach. Knowing you're going to meet new friends and old friends and have your picture taken all over the place, and possibly plastered all over social media without your knowledge or ability to "fix" them, seemed high pressure to me. It's why I almost didn't go in the first place. I have a bit of social anxiety and loads of insecurities. I've been hiding behind them my entire life. So we prepared by getting our nails done (manis (acrylic tips) and pedis), fake spray tans, to the clothes, the shoes, the hair, the make-up, a new swimsuit and cover-up per beach event....the list goes on. Too much money was invested into one weekend. I'm exhausted even typing about it. At one point I thought to myself, "who am I trying to impress?" I didn't know why I felt such pressure, but I did. I mean we all wanted to meet someone (even if it was a weekend fling) I mean I think in a lot of ways it would validate all the preparation getting there and the hard work it took to look good. However, deep down inside we all just want to be accepted for who we are, bare faced, no make-up, hair in a bun or pony, in our yoga pants and basic t. (which is how I look daily when I'm working at home on my computer) But if I came looking like I do now, writing this post, I'm pretty sure no guy would ever have said hello. We have to put our best selves forward because first impressions are everything. However, it quickly dawned on me that I may have to keep up the charade of how I looked in Cali and that just wasn't me 100%. It was a version of me, yes. A very polished version. But there's no way I'd want to maintain that version of me on the daily. ***TANGENT END***(read the end of post to see my favorite part of this whole story)
Back to the BLVD hotel doorway....The four of us were all sizing each other up to see if car pooling was going to be a counter productive activity or not. It seemed we spent too much time discussing who would drive and what would happen if someone didn't want to go to after parties, etc. I mean you don't really want to "TAKE sand TO the beach", if you catch my drift. We decided to gamble and car pool after all (I guess we passed the test and well really traffic to LA was a nightmare and we thought having company would be better.) Brent drove his brand new white fully loaded Mazda 3, which was pretty sexy, not gonna lie.
We drove an hour to the LA area to the USS Iowa dance (kickoff main event) on a battleship where we registered for the event and received our wristbands, that we needed to decode by looking at a poster board of images and letters. Turns out he was "Commander Hottie" and I was "Major Hottie." We chuckled and may or may not have given each other a fist bump. I guess we were suppose to go around and learn the name of others. I never did. Pretty sure he didn't either.
This is where #majorandcommanderhottie began. ha ha.
I knew from what I had learned about him on Facebook and via Instagram, that he had modeled a few clothing lines previously and he was a Photographer with a great eye. I thought he would just be fun to photograph and add to my own personal portfolio. I mean, am I right, ladies?
So we were having a sort of "pose off" which makes me laugh.
I had no feelings what so ever for him, so the posing felt a bit awkward yet I was secretly excited to be photographed with such a hottie, but at the same time I judged him and just saw him as the "player" type and never even considered dating him, but knew we would have fun "running into and/or carpooling" to events. I mean he was 29. He's a super hottie. He's 29 and I'm a bit older. Did I mention he was 29? ha ha I had previously been sort of bummed out b/c I really liked a guy who was 28 and didn't want to commit, even to the word dating. Even though spending every other day together for months, and kissing, was in fact dating. I guess I'm not the only one who sometimes struggles with labels. I've always dated younger it seems. However, when it boils down to it, someone usually will have an "issue" with the age gap, even though it's super fun and a sort of "notch on both our belts" sorta thing to even kiss someone with age gaps like ours. Guys dig older chics these days. But do they really want to settle down with one? I wasn't even about to tell Brent my real age, yet. He didn't know for quite a while and said it didn't matter and that's he's always dated older women. He likes the maturity that comes with age. I didn't believe him at first, because all guys say that it "doesn't matter." Then they find out and the story changes. Lets not fail to mention one guy I went on one blind date with back in April. My only set up I have allowed in the past 10 yrs, mind you. Mr. "C," didn't make me feel comfortable at all with my age. In fact, I never even told him. Not even sure if he still knows my age. He was just barely 29 or 30 I believe and said "well I want to know. I mean I know you're older I just want to know HOW much older. I've always dated younger, so I guess it's sort of a big deal to me." He kept pressing for my age. I just wanted to get to know each other, ages set aside for a minute. I desired him to get to know ME first and not my age. I don't feel or act or look my age, so to me, it doesn't matter. I then asked "C," I will tell you, but is it really that big of a deal?" He replies: "Well I'm still here aren't I?" I wasn't finished with my salmon, otherwise I would have bolted right then and there. It was such a jerky thing to say and there's a reason Mr. C, has never been married and is still a virgin and single. Awkward first dates. Gotta love them. I kinda swore off dating once again, since then. This was supposed to be my year where I had set goals and envisioned meeting my husband. Mr. C, clearly wasn't him. We exchanged a few texts, which slowly fizzled out to nothing at all. I felt he was just playcating things a bit, after dinner asking to continue the date and walk around San Tan Shopping center. Maybe he could feel my annoyance? I hope so. He was really rude and I had never experienced a date like that, nor hope to ever again. I wish him well.
Back to my story...We had a great time at the event, even though the food trucks ran out of food for us. 
So, we had to go to a local Mexican restaurant, just the four of us. Of course that made it feel like we were on a double date. We then joined the other hundreds of people on the battleship and shook our groove thing. I was actively trying to meet other men and be social. Brent kept popping in and out and around me. I think we both were checking to see where the other was and we danced a few fast songs and one slow song. I don't get out much and wanted to really make it worth my while, especially since I blacked out the entire week to not book shoots. I lost money because of that. For some reason this year, being there, felt important. I truly didn't want to really go, if I'm being honest.
So the fun dancing ended in about 30 min, when they booted us 45 min early for some noise ordinance. (we were in a freaking harbor! who complained or could even hear the noise?) We weren't happy to say the least. But hey! We got some fun photos and to me and turns out, to Brent also, those are kind of the most important thing to us. We LOVE documenting. Maybe too much. He, even more so, loves a good selfie.
The story and the pictures of us in California continue....I'll post at a later date.
2 months later, he's uhm my boyfriend? How'd that happen? Ha ha.Since that day, we've managed to cram about 6-8 months worth of dating in. Not kidding. I'll keep adding in separate posts. We've been on several adventures and some really fun outings and dates. I think we went 3 strait weeks 24/7 together and never fought. That's gotta be some kind of record or something for me. There's been an instant comfort and best friend type feel, from day one. He says, since HB, he's felt literally drawn to me, like no girl ever before. I still was on the fence. I told him I don't do long distance. As he lived in UT at the time. A week after HB, he called and asked if he could fly here the following weekend and take me out on a proper first date. He was sick as a dog that entire weekend, but we managed to have a good time, while I played nurse using all my doTERRA oils and knowledge to make him feel better. He had just played and went on WAY too many vacations without any rest. He found rest and a nurse, with me those 5 days. www.mydoterra.com/ellejdoterra be sure to check out doTERRA if you've never heard of it before! Your life will change forever. Contact me with questions and support!)He did manage to feel better to go SUP boarding with me and my brother. That was a blast. It was a fun trip, but difficult to really get to know someone, when they are "at their worst" I didn't mind taking care of him. It's in my nature. I was just bummed for him. He spent a lot of money to fly here, to spend his time with me, being sick.
A week later, he drove 10 hrs out to San Diego, giving up his beloved week long trip to Lake Powell, that he looks forward to, every year. He, instead, came to San Diego and we spent the next 5 glorious days together where we continued to get to know each other, under some pretty romantic settings. He showed me around Laguna Beach for my first time. His home town. It was magical. (also will be another post of pictures.) He then told me he was moving to AZ after Cali and was bringing just the essentials to Cali with him. I guess since I told him I don't do long distance, he made it easier for me. He was determined and persistent with me. He still is. Guys just don't stick around this long, with what I put them through. I don't mean to. I just do. I have a few broken bits and a guard up that won't quit. He's still here.
I never got the whole butterflies or wondering "does he like me/physco chaser attitude" I mean there was a moment after HB, when we said goodbye, that I TRULY felt it was just a fling for him too! That goodbye, had to have been THE most awkward of all time. Turns out he was nervous. I was thinking..."yep, fling."
I had been too busy to even think about him or anything else, since meeting. Life has been a whirlwind the last 2 months. However with Brent, it's just been calm. Peaceful. I just don't stress (well I try not to) when he's around. He's my calm in this storm of life. He has shown me through every action, that he adores me and says he's never felt this way, for anyone, ever. He says the most wonderful and amazing things. I'm just not use to them. It doesn't mean I won't get use to them. I want to get use to them. How he treats me, is how EVERY girl DREAMS to be treated. It's something I never thought I personally would receive or experience. It's nice. It's different. It's uncomfortable at times, only b/c I'm different and have my wall up, even still. I'm slowly trying to break that wall down for him. There's a very protective part of me, that is scared to fall. Because if I do, I may break. I've been broken. It's painful. I don't want to go back there and break again. So I'm guarded. He's patient. VERY patient. He told me last night in the sweetest most tender way,over the phone, after he left, (since we have a midnight curfew now) that he has this unconditional love for me, that he's never felt before. He says he just knows it will always last and never end. I'm thankful he's patient with me and that he loves me and adores me. The L-word is scary. I can say it all day long to my family and friends. But with a "boy" it's different and has way different meaning and feelings and depth and weight that I'm just not sure I'm ready for, yet. I'm taking my time. Because I can. He obviously means a lot to me to want to start documenting it on my blog and in my journal, and share our story with the social media world. And the most important and best part is ...he accepts me, adores me, loves me, for ME. ALL of me. No make-up, hair in a pony or bun, in my yoga pants and basic t, no frills, just me. xo...e
This was literally 1 hr after meeting in Huntington Beach,CA for an LDS mid-singles conference, and we were being silly and took all sorts of fun shots with our sidekicks, Sandy and James.I remember Brent wanting to look at the back of the camera after every shot. Ok, well I did too. I mean not everyone knows how to use an SLR. So I was checking to see if they were in focus. Brent was checking to see if he looked hot enough. Pretty sure he doesn't take a bad photo. I remember him looking at me, after seeing a particular image with me and he says..."WOW, you're really pretty." To which I thought, "hmm he said that like he was shocked or something and that he didn't realize I may be attractive at all, until he saw me being photographed or something) Either way, I remember feeling a little jolt of excitement that he validated me. It felt nice. Here's that image. (we are such posers)
Before this event we had texted to plan to meet up and possibly car pool. I knew they were driving in from Utah via Vegas the night before because Brent and I were exchanging a few texts. We all met up at the same hotel the four of us stayed in (separately. me with Sandy, He with James) in the BLVD Hotel in Newport Beach. It was kind of a dive, but that's what you get when you book last minute hotels. Brent saved the day and messaged me on Facebook a few days before giving Sandy and me the tip. I thought it would be nice to "know" others staying at the same hotel and even be "car pool buddies" to and from events, since parking can be a nightmare in Cali. I only ever saw us being friends.
Brent and James came knocking on our door that evening as we were scurrying to look our hottest selves. ***TANGENT ALERT****I mean the pressure we put on ourselves for these singles' events is just nuts. It was exhausting, if I'm being totally honest. I just can't maintain that lifestyle if I wanted to. I won't even admit to how long it took us to get ready every day, even for the beach. Knowing you're going to meet new friends and old friends and have your picture taken all over the place, and possibly plastered all over social media without your knowledge or ability to "fix" them, seemed high pressure to me. It's why I almost didn't go in the first place. I have a bit of social anxiety and loads of insecurities. I've been hiding behind them my entire life. So we prepared by getting our nails done (manis (acrylic tips) and pedis), fake spray tans, to the clothes, the shoes, the hair, the make-up, a new swimsuit and cover-up per beach event....the list goes on. Too much money was invested into one weekend. I'm exhausted even typing about it. At one point I thought to myself, "who am I trying to impress?" I didn't know why I felt such pressure, but I did. I mean we all wanted to meet someone (even if it was a weekend fling) I mean I think in a lot of ways it would validate all the preparation getting there and the hard work it took to look good. However, deep down inside we all just want to be accepted for who we are, bare faced, no make-up, hair in a bun or pony, in our yoga pants and basic t. (which is how I look daily when I'm working at home on my computer) But if I came looking like I do now, writing this post, I'm pretty sure no guy would ever have said hello. We have to put our best selves forward because first impressions are everything. However, it quickly dawned on me that I may have to keep up the charade of how I looked in Cali and that just wasn't me 100%. It was a version of me, yes. A very polished version. But there's no way I'd want to maintain that version of me on the daily. ***TANGENT END***(read the end of post to see my favorite part of this whole story)
Back to the BLVD hotel doorway....The four of us were all sizing each other up to see if car pooling was going to be a counter productive activity or not. It seemed we spent too much time discussing who would drive and what would happen if someone didn't want to go to after parties, etc. I mean you don't really want to "TAKE sand TO the beach", if you catch my drift. We decided to gamble and car pool after all (I guess we passed the test and well really traffic to LA was a nightmare and we thought having company would be better.) Brent drove his brand new white fully loaded Mazda 3, which was pretty sexy, not gonna lie.
We drove an hour to the LA area to the USS Iowa dance (kickoff main event) on a battleship where we registered for the event and received our wristbands, that we needed to decode by looking at a poster board of images and letters. Turns out he was "Commander Hottie" and I was "Major Hottie." We chuckled and may or may not have given each other a fist bump. I guess we were suppose to go around and learn the name of others. I never did. Pretty sure he didn't either.
This is where #majorandcommanderhottie began. ha ha.
I knew from what I had learned about him on Facebook and via Instagram, that he had modeled a few clothing lines previously and he was a Photographer with a great eye. I thought he would just be fun to photograph and add to my own personal portfolio. I mean, am I right, ladies?So we were having a sort of "pose off" which makes me laugh.
I had no feelings what so ever for him, so the posing felt a bit awkward yet I was secretly excited to be photographed with such a hottie, but at the same time I judged him and just saw him as the "player" type and never even considered dating him, but knew we would have fun "running into and/or carpooling" to events. I mean he was 29. He's a super hottie. He's 29 and I'm a bit older. Did I mention he was 29? ha ha I had previously been sort of bummed out b/c I really liked a guy who was 28 and didn't want to commit, even to the word dating. Even though spending every other day together for months, and kissing, was in fact dating. I guess I'm not the only one who sometimes struggles with labels. I've always dated younger it seems. However, when it boils down to it, someone usually will have an "issue" with the age gap, even though it's super fun and a sort of "notch on both our belts" sorta thing to even kiss someone with age gaps like ours. Guys dig older chics these days. But do they really want to settle down with one? I wasn't even about to tell Brent my real age, yet. He didn't know for quite a while and said it didn't matter and that's he's always dated older women. He likes the maturity that comes with age. I didn't believe him at first, because all guys say that it "doesn't matter." Then they find out and the story changes. Lets not fail to mention one guy I went on one blind date with back in April. My only set up I have allowed in the past 10 yrs, mind you. Mr. "C," didn't make me feel comfortable at all with my age. In fact, I never even told him. Not even sure if he still knows my age. He was just barely 29 or 30 I believe and said "well I want to know. I mean I know you're older I just want to know HOW much older. I've always dated younger, so I guess it's sort of a big deal to me." He kept pressing for my age. I just wanted to get to know each other, ages set aside for a minute. I desired him to get to know ME first and not my age. I don't feel or act or look my age, so to me, it doesn't matter. I then asked "C," I will tell you, but is it really that big of a deal?" He replies: "Well I'm still here aren't I?" I wasn't finished with my salmon, otherwise I would have bolted right then and there. It was such a jerky thing to say and there's a reason Mr. C, has never been married and is still a virgin and single. Awkward first dates. Gotta love them. I kinda swore off dating once again, since then. This was supposed to be my year where I had set goals and envisioned meeting my husband. Mr. C, clearly wasn't him. We exchanged a few texts, which slowly fizzled out to nothing at all. I felt he was just playcating things a bit, after dinner asking to continue the date and walk around San Tan Shopping center. Maybe he could feel my annoyance? I hope so. He was really rude and I had never experienced a date like that, nor hope to ever again. I wish him well. Back to my story...We had a great time at the event, even though the food trucks ran out of food for us. So, we had to go to a local Mexican restaurant, just the four of us. Of course that made it feel like we were on a double date. We then joined the other hundreds of people on the battleship and shook our groove thing. I was actively trying to meet other men and be social. Brent kept popping in and out and around me. I think we both were checking to see where the other was and we danced a few fast songs and one slow song. I don't get out much and wanted to really make it worth my while, especially since I blacked out the entire week to not book shoots. I lost money because of that. For some reason this year, being there, felt important. I truly didn't want to really go, if I'm being honest.So the fun dancing ended in about 30 min, when they booted us 45 min early for some noise ordinance. (we were in a freaking harbor! who complained or could even hear the noise?) We weren't happy to say the least. But hey! We got some fun photos and to me and turns out, to Brent also, those are kind of the most important thing to us. We LOVE documenting. Maybe too much. He, even more so, loves a good selfie.
The story and the pictures of us in California continue....I'll post at a later date.
2 months later, he's uhm my boyfriend? How'd that happen? Ha ha.Since that day, we've managed to cram about 6-8 months worth of dating in. Not kidding. I'll keep adding in separate posts. We've been on several adventures and some really fun outings and dates. I think we went 3 strait weeks 24/7 together and never fought. That's gotta be some kind of record or something for me. There's been an instant comfort and best friend type feel, from day one. He says, since HB, he's felt literally drawn to me, like no girl ever before. I still was on the fence. I told him I don't do long distance. As he lived in UT at the time. A week after HB, he called and asked if he could fly here the following weekend and take me out on a proper first date. He was sick as a dog that entire weekend, but we managed to have a good time, while I played nurse using all my doTERRA oils and knowledge to make him feel better. He had just played and went on WAY too many vacations without any rest. He found rest and a nurse, with me those 5 days. www.mydoterra.com/ellejdoterra be sure to check out doTERRA if you've never heard of it before! Your life will change forever. Contact me with questions and support!)He did manage to feel better to go SUP boarding with me and my brother. That was a blast. It was a fun trip, but difficult to really get to know someone, when they are "at their worst" I didn't mind taking care of him. It's in my nature. I was just bummed for him. He spent a lot of money to fly here, to spend his time with me, being sick. A week later, he drove 10 hrs out to San Diego, giving up his beloved week long trip to Lake Powell, that he looks forward to, every year. He, instead, came to San Diego and we spent the next 5 glorious days together where we continued to get to know each other, under some pretty romantic settings. He showed me around Laguna Beach for my first time. His home town. It was magical. (also will be another post of pictures.) He then told me he was moving to AZ after Cali and was bringing just the essentials to Cali with him. I guess since I told him I don't do long distance, he made it easier for me. He was determined and persistent with me. He still is. Guys just don't stick around this long, with what I put them through. I don't mean to. I just do. I have a few broken bits and a guard up that won't quit. He's still here.
I never got the whole butterflies or wondering "does he like me/physco chaser attitude" I mean there was a moment after HB, when we said goodbye, that I TRULY felt it was just a fling for him too! That goodbye, had to have been THE most awkward of all time. Turns out he was nervous. I was thinking..."yep, fling."
I had been too busy to even think about him or anything else, since meeting. Life has been a whirlwind the last 2 months. However with Brent, it's just been calm. Peaceful. I just don't stress (well I try not to) when he's around. He's my calm in this storm of life. He has shown me through every action, that he adores me and says he's never felt this way, for anyone, ever. He says the most wonderful and amazing things. I'm just not use to them. It doesn't mean I won't get use to them. I want to get use to them. How he treats me, is how EVERY girl DREAMS to be treated. It's something I never thought I personally would receive or experience. It's nice. It's different. It's uncomfortable at times, only b/c I'm different and have my wall up, even still. I'm slowly trying to break that wall down for him. There's a very protective part of me, that is scared to fall. Because if I do, I may break. I've been broken. It's painful. I don't want to go back there and break again. So I'm guarded. He's patient. VERY patient. He told me last night in the sweetest most tender way,over the phone, after he left, (since we have a midnight curfew now) that he has this unconditional love for me, that he's never felt before. He says he just knows it will always last and never end. I'm thankful he's patient with me and that he loves me and adores me. The L-word is scary. I can say it all day long to my family and friends. But with a "boy" it's different and has way different meaning and feelings and depth and weight that I'm just not sure I'm ready for, yet. I'm taking my time. Because I can. He obviously means a lot to me to want to start documenting it on my blog and in my journal, and share our story with the social media world. And the most important and best part is ...he accepts me, adores me, loves me, for ME. ALL of me. No make-up, hair in a pony or bun, in my yoga pants and basic t, no frills, just me. xo...e
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