(pictures are from July 28th, 2014, day of service to remember Travis. We served at C.A.S.S. in Phoenix, AZ)
It's been a long grieving process for us all. I think I finally feel at peace that it's finally over and the family can rest knowing they did all they could to support their brother, whom we all love and miss dearly.
With the trial over, the final verdict decided, I don't wish to speak of his death, his murder, or his murderer, after today. I desire to remember his life. Let us all do the same.
So I will say this, buy the book, when it comes out. I'm not being endorsed to say this. These are my own thoughts. Let us all remember him for who he was and spread light and love and goodness and continue to share his legacy of service and in being kind to everyone and raising ourselves to new heights and becoming our highest and best selves possible and truly making the most of this Earthly life we all have left. I hope we all can take away something positive from his death and this trial, most importantly to know that life is fragile and to love deeply and intensely those around you while you still can.
The world now knows his name and I pray they will remember his goodness and learn of who he was and not remember him by his tragic death. This is the purpose of this book. You will laugh and cry right along with us. I can’t wait to read what others have written and truly remember about him and that special light and charisma he carried. Ok, now come the tears….
I’ve been pretty silent lately. I’ve learned I had to protect myself and my emotional state as it effected every area of my life. So you can only imagine what the family has gone through these past few years of trial.
I was given a special witness that she was his killer, the day I met her, at his memorial service in Mesa. I don't know why. But what I do know, is that she is pure evil. At least evil spirits and darkness surrounded her. No matter where she goes or what she does, or how she may suffer out the remainder of her days, she will never be able to take away our memories we have of him, nor our ability to see him in the eternities. We all will rejoice in the day we all will be reunited with him. Yes it's tragic he was taken from this Earth, too soon, but righteousness always prevails in the end. I believe in a just God. I know justice will be served in the next life, therefore it doesn't matter to me where she goes or what she does, from here on out in this life. She cannot escape what's awaiting for her, upon her own death. No matter the hurtful things and lies she has said about him, will never change who is was and who he is and what he meant to us.
I miss him everyday. It's truly amazing how his death has effected so many lives. It's because of his death that the world knows who he is. Even in death, he is putting a positive spin on his circumstances. It's true Travis style. There is positivity in all situations, it's just a matter of what angle you are approaching it and how you look at it and what questions you are asking yourself.
Jodi had made a picture book for all of us to sign at the memorial service of all the pictures she had taken of him. There was a small group of us left, after the service was over. I remember the tears in other’s eyes and the horror on the faces of those who found Travis’ body. I won’t speak for them, but I know their lives are forever altered. My life is forever altered just by seeing their faces and experiencing these moments with them and Jodi at that service. As we all sat there trying to find comfort in each other, asking the tough questions as to whom could do this to our friend, she was nodding along and pretending to be distraught too. Jodi was playing a role and was an actress that day. I saw right through her. Jodi was also looking over our shoulders as we wrote our final goodbyes in this book, she had made. She looked over my shoulder as I was writing the words…”This isn’t goodbye Travis, this is see you later my friend. I love you forever.” Jodi, commented on my writings and said “That’s neat what you wrote there, that this isn’t goodbye,” with her fake smiles. I looked up and gave a respectful yet annoyed look, hoping she would get the hint to step away from me as I take this moment to pay my final respects to my best friend. As you can imagine, it was awkward, painful, and uncomfortable with her there, knowing what I only knew, that she was his killer. I shall never forget this day and the feelings I felt. It was pure evil coming from her, but pure and genuine love and sadness from his friends and family. There was no sadness coming from her, whatsoever.
I have grown leaps and bounds with him in life and from him, in death. My value for connections, friendships, and family has grown immensely. My desire to document everything increased ten fold. I don't have one picture with my sweet friend. And I'm a photographer. It's crazy how I was so caught up enjoying life with him, I forgot to document it. That's the thing, when you were with Travis, you were captivated and he had your full attention.
Lots of you have reached out to me and I appreciate your love and care and concern and support.
Not knowing the true bigger picture and what life holds for us all, I’m at peace with the final verdict. We all wanted death. But I feel what happened is meant to happen and for purposes unknown to us. I’m at peace with that. I’m truly glad she won’t be getting released and won’t ever be free in this life. It seems fair to me. And it’s never really mattered what happens in this life to her, because ultimately she will meet her maker and will be judged. Nothing that happens to her, will bring him back.
Yesterday at church I was reminded that our Savior loves each and every one of us, even the murderers. Even Jodi. Think about that one. I’m not one to hate, ever. It’s not a trait becoming of a lady. I have never hated her, nor will ever choose to hate her. I have forgiven her. Like I’ve said before, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It’s not for her, but for me. I feel Travis has even forgiven her. I have felt Travis’ spirit near throughout these past 7 yrs. He is fine. He is happy. He is there to help us and lift us still and cheer us on from the other side of the veil. His spirit lives! And someday very soon, we will see him again! Until then I will choose to love and choose to remember the good and choose to still laugh when I remember him and be eternally grateful I was touched by his goodness and that I was honored to call him friend. Until we meet again, I love you Travis. You can read more about our story in the book!
My final words in the book:
So to honor him and his legacy I will end with these (tearful) words:
I love you Travis. I’m so grateful I met you. I’m beyond blessed to have known the real authentic Travis. You are my brother, my friend, my family. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my biggest fan. Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Thank you for showing me and telling me what I deserve in this life and what I’m capable of achieving. Thank you for being a great example to me. Thank you for not judging me and always being positive and reminding me of my worth and making me feel beautiful and comfortable in my own skin. Thank you for teaching me so many wonderful things, by example. Thank you for helping me become the strong woman I am today. Thank you above all, for your generosity and helping me strengthen my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, while you were on this Earth and even more so, now that you are gone from this Earth. As I wrote in that picture book, at your memorial service, I’ll say it again…This isn’t goodbye Travis, this is see you later my friend. I love you forever. Until we meet again….Love, your forever friend, Elisha J. Schabel.
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